Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me . . .”
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won’t do what she’s told.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It is called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me “What’s on the TV?”
And I said, “Dust!”
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
